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The Muse is Gone

I started this journal as a way of relaxing and sharing what goes on in my head. I admit that this place was also a getaway from the vagaries and small horrors of everyday life. But,as with all refuges, there will always come a day when reality and events swoop in to blow the house of cards down. My wife of twenty three years passed away three weeks ago from a chronic illness. We knew each other for thirty years. She was my main inspiration. She was responsible for most of the success I've had in both my professional life and my artistic existence. She was the one who always believed in me and always championed my writing. She was a great editor. She was tough. She loved a happy ending. But alas, her story wasn't too happy at the end. In fact, it was pretty damned grim. Her death was a defining moment for me. I made decisions no one wants to make. Decisions for my wife who relied upon me to speak up for her when she was unable. Luckily, we discussed the plan months before those terrible days of Intensive Care and Pain and Unconciousness came upon us. Though the decisions were heavy, horrible decisions - I made them knowing I was doing what she wanted. And that has made all the difference. Now, I am left without a muse, but I have a renewed purpose. I will move into the unknown future writing all the way. That's something else I know she would want. For me to continue working at my craft. I'll do it gladly. Because I know that's what she wants. Giving her what she wanted and makng her happy was always my priority and my pleasure. So here I go, writing without a net.....

Eileen
1952-2009
Mother-Artist-Wife-Friend

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
markmc03
May. 14th, 2009 06:21 am (UTC)
I'm sorry to hear about your wife's passing. Twenty years is a lifetime. Do keep writing.
chezsci
May. 15th, 2009 02:46 am (UTC)
Thanks for your kind words, Mark. See ya 'round the playground.
crookedfingers
May. 14th, 2009 02:18 pm (UTC)
so here I go writing without a net
I'm sorry to read the death of your wife-20 years is a long time-my wife and I will celebrate 30 years of marriage this month-I can feel with you in your lost-I do not know where I will be without my wife?-we have to keep going-seek to remember the good times-be thankful for the 20 years together-keep writing-peace

Edited at 2009-05-14 04:13 pm (UTC)
chezsci
May. 15th, 2009 02:49 am (UTC)
Re: so here I go writing without a net
Thanks for the words of encouragement, Jonny. And peace to you.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )