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Okay, So Now What?

                                                             Frozen Peach Melba

        If given the chance I will procrastinate until the last nanosecond before a deadline. Fortunately, I'm not given many opportunities to do so. I don't procrastinate with the household accounts too much though. I'm usually one of those that pays his bills when they come in if I'm able to do so, but some I let slide around in the grace period, if one is given. I do this a lot with the car insurance and cell phone - don't know why, I just do. Today, I girded my loins for fiscal battle and took a look at Z-girl's college account just to see what exactly I owed the college after all the grants, aid, and scholarships had finally cleared. I could have found this out a month ago, but I was given a Sept.1 deadline before penalties began to be incurred, so I pushed it out of my mind in order to purely enjoy the college entrance experience unfettered by a looming bill. I took a look and it wasn't too bad. My anxiety is a few notches lower. Oddly, the college bill for one semester is about what I paid for an entire year back when I was plugging away at my BA degree. Without my employee tuition discount and sundry scholarship offerings there'd be no way I could afford this school.

Mandevilla Vine

      So I'm now a partial empty nester. And its okay. In fact, it's pretty nice being alone. I'm sure I'll get lonely, and God knows what I'll do once I get everything in the house Just The Way I Want It, but for now it's no different than when I lived on my own back in the day. Being alone doesn't necessarily translate into loneliness. My satisfaction with my semi-independence from my kid blunts any feelings I have about having someone else by my side. That'll change later, I'm sure, but for now it's cool to putter around on my days off, doing what I want in my own time and in my own way. This weekend I spent four hours watching "Hell On Wheels" on Netflix and another couple hour session watching some movies I've been meaning to see. What decadence. Then I went OCD on my basement work bench organizing tools and setting up a section for messing about with computers along with another section for other hobby possibilities. I have an un-assembled radio controlled plane a co-worker gave me because he had some medical issues and lost the ability to concentrate on minutiae for any length of time. I have no idea about building the thing, but it'll be fun screwing it up. I'm going to upgrade my PC so I can play this large backlog of games I've purchased on Steam.com over the years with the intention of eventually playing them. It's been so long since I purchased the games that my desktop PC needs some semi-major overhauling to get things up to snuff for game play. I could buy another, newer PC, but what would be the fun in that?

        And then there's the luxury of having uninterrupted time to write. No having to stop and make a meal or help with homework or run errands. Last night I was up until 2 messing about with a movie review and outlining a short story project. Raising Z-girl alone through the last of junior high and high school took a major bite out of my writing habits. As a writer, I've grown sloppy, lazy, rusty and no good. Luckily I still have the basic tools so now I just have to regain the discipline and somehow find my old mojo. It shouldn't be hard. Maybe. At least I have time. Or should I say, I think I have time.

Bois Blanc Island, MI - Lake Huron 1982


Aug. 28th, 2012 10:23 am (UTC)
What a great cabin!! Your satisfaction with your semi-independence reminds me of my own feelings of satisfaction when my daughter went off to college. Many of my friends were worried I would fall into an "empty nest gloom" but I was too busy reveling in my well-deserved freedom for that nonsense! For years, I have been threatening to write something of substance or to hone my writing skills once again but, thus far, they have been idle threats even though I've had time enough. I hope that your desires for writing come to fruition!