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Getting My Easter Candy On

           Everyone knows by now that Holland is the second happiest place in America.  And of course, everyone has heard the slogan about Disneyland being the happiest place on earth.  Many people can be happy without having to go someplace or do something; those people have happy places in their heads.  My Inner Happy Place includes a deserted beach in the Aegean, a hammock, a rum drink in a coconut and Penelope Cruz. But that’s just me.  Sometimes the imaginary things that make you happy exist in the real world too.

For me, an example of one of those things is candy. If my day dream of mowing through a bag of caramel creams doesn’t lift my spirits, I live only five minutes from the candy store.  And no, the grocery store or drugstore won’t do.  Only a store completely devoted to candy will fill the bill.  Fortunately Holland has one of these and you’ll know when I’m there getting my candy on.  I’ll be the one gently stroking the jars of cinnamon bears and Swedish fish quietly whispering to them, “My Precious! Oh yessss! Tom loves you, he does! Precious!”  My name is on a watch list of known droolers and candy fondlers on the bulletin board in the employee break room. That said, I don’t go there to buy candy too often. A few times a year though, I go on a candy binge buying spree. Easter is one of those times.  I can slip in unobserved among the throngs of adults buying treats for Easter baskets and proceed to load up with impunity.  I use my daughter as a beard to deal with the sales staff, and to buy my stash. As a reward I let her drive me to the store and back.

When I get home I don’t immediately gorge on the candy.  I practice restraint. Each day I plan what I’m going to eat and how much I’m going to eat.  My assistant at work has a drawer full of candy in his kitchen at home that he grazes from like some sort of deranged, candy-munching Oompah-Lumpah from Wonka land.  He considers Skittles to be a food group.   He is young yet and hasn’t learned the Ways of Candy like I have.  Candy must be savored to draw out the maximum in happiness. Tom knows this he does.  Yesssss!